ERTh

ECSTASY RESEARCH THEATRE

A play

by

Jason Lamport

AUTHOR’S NOTES

This play is intended to be performed in the wilderness, with minimal sets, or no sets at all, and without electrical equipment of any kind, except for that used by the PHILOSOPHER character as described below.

The horoscope given in the middle of Act I, Scene 1 is the correct SIDEREAL horoscope for Mojave, California, at sunset on May 2, 1998: the projected time and place of the original performance. Because of the timeless, “ahistorical” setting of the play, it was felt that a sidereal horoscope was more appropriate than the more familiar tropical system, the zodiac of which precesses significantly from one historical period to the next.

Within the stage directions of this text, there will be passages marked simply “MAENAD section”. These sections of the performance are intended to be more abstract, possibly involving dance/movement/ritual as well as text. It is intended that the details of these sections be developed by the performers themselves, informed by the text, but also by the specific people involved and by the specific wilderness location in which the performance takes place. The Maenad sections function something like the Greek chorus, as an intermediary between the audience and the play. They should also serve to introduce and elaborate the more mythical themes of the performance.

I see the performance as containing two distinct threads or streams, which do not merge until the end. On the one hand there is the more intellectual/philosophical thread, which is explored mostly within the text of the play. On the other hand, there is a more mythological, archetypal thread, which is mostly explored in everything which surrounds the play: in the audience’s entrance to the space, the space itself, the musicians, and particularly in the Maenad sections. Here we experience the Maenad’s breathless anticipation of the coming of the Goddess. Here we see that a fabulous feast is being prepared for her arrival. And here also we experience the Monsters, not as characters in a play, but simply as shapeless horrors in the dark. Not until the end of the play do the two threads merge, the two streams join.

It is in the Maenad sections that this performance speaks to us at the most visceral and irrational levels. It is in the Maenad sections that we as performers must search out the images that will both terrify and uplift. In the text of the play, I have given voice to many ideas, but it is only in what surrounds the play that we can create experience. The Maenad sections are in no way peripheral or merely ornamental: they are the blood and guts of what might otherwise be a coldly cerebral theatrical exercise. I left these sections open, not because they are unimportant —— they are at least as important as the written play —— but because I do not think it is possible to script them in advance.

One final note: I am aware that the stage directions are often insultingly specific. This is an artifact of the genesis of this play: the play was written under an enormous time crunch —— rehearsals had begun before the script was even completed —— and giving the actors as much information as possible within the text itself seemed the most expedient way to get them into the play quickly. I’ve decided to leave the stage directions as they were originally written, but please take them as suggestions, not as absolute artistic necessities. Just because I wrote this play doesn’t mean that I understand it: I am humbly aware that good actors and good directors may find interpretations of this text that are far better than my own, though I am just arrogant enough to believe that my own interpretation is probably a good place to start.

Dramatis Personae

Except where indicated, these characters can be played by either men or women. In the text, I have therefore used “he/she”, “him/her”, etc. in dialogue and stage directions. Naturally, these should be replaced with the appropriately gendered single pronouns or phrases once the parts are cast. However, the other characters should address the RULER as “My Lord” (rather than “My Lady”) regardless of the RULER’s gender. The RULER, if female, is “butch”.

The Traveler: A guru figure who arrives bearing some sort of message or wisdom to share, and around whom the play revolves. Should be dressed in white, with a costume suggesting both priestly robes and a jester’s cap, and possibly wearing a white mask.

The Ruler: This community is a theocracy, so the RULER is also the High Priest. Should be dressed in black, perhaps looking something like a Jesuit priest. The RULER sees God as an omnipotent sadist: God created the universe in order to watch His creatures suffer. In a cynical, “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” response to this universe, the RULER serves and worships this sadist God, hiding HIS/HER own bitterness behind a façade of gleeful cruelty. In the past, the RULER has always had guru-like figures, such as the TRAVELER, put to death.

The Court Astronomer/Astrologer: The ASTRONOMER is loosely based on the physicist Stephen Hawking, although Stephen Hawking transposed to a time when astronomy and astrology had not yet separated, or perhaps to a time in the future when the two disciplines will have reunited. Philosophically and religiously, the ASTRONOMER is an agnostic desperately seeking truth, and is torn between the different views of the universe offered by the other characters, particularly the TRAVELER and the RULER.

The Court Philosopher: Also based on the physicist Stephen Hawking, though in a different way: like Hawking, the PHILOSOPHER is confined to a wheelchair, and is mute. HE/SHE communicates through a laptop computer equipped with a voice synthesizer. The PHILOSOPHER is an exploration into the life of a mind almost completely divorced from the body. The PHILOSOPHER is a close friend to the ASTRONOMER.

Angel: A spirit which comes to take away the soul of someone who dies. Dances, but doesn’t speak, except for a single line at the end.

“Maenads” (anywhere from 2-10, gender should be mixed):
These are people who have joined the TRAVELER in the desert. The MAENADs should probably be wearing jester’s caps during the scripted parts of the play, though they may or may not be wearing them during the MAENAD sections (see above). In some ways, THEY form an opposite pole from the PHILOSOPHER: where the PHILOSOPHER explores truth through the mind, the MAENADs explore truth through the skin. This is not to say that the MAENADs are mindless: when THEY speak, THEY may have some of the clearest ideas of any of the characters. But of all the characters, THEY are the ones most aware that the world of the intellect is only a small slice of the world which we as humans can experience. Note that the MAENADs are tricksters: THEY may appear, at times, to be naïve disciples of the TRAVELER but don’t you believe it. THEY are the ones who are really in control, even if none of the other characters realize this.

The MAENADs also perform in the MAENAD sections (see above) and thus act something like the traditional Greek chorus.

Sophia (female): One of the MAENADs.

Monsters: These will be giant puppets, dark shapes half-seen just beyond the edge of the firelight. The MONSTERS are portents of the coming of the GODDESS. They are written in to the play only at the end, but should appear earlier as part of the MAENAD sections described above. The MONSTERS are the horror of existence, out of which grows the only real joy.

The Goddess (female): HER arrival is alluded to throughout the play, but SHE does not actually appear until the end. SHE is the wild card, the divine excess of the real, whom none of the characters’ neat philosophical systems can entirely contain.

ACT I

Scene 1

SETTING: The audience is seated in some outdoor wilderness. No man-made structures, other than those made specifically for this performance, are visible. At RISE there may already be a bonfire, or several bonfires; otherwise, a bonfire or bonfires should be lit at some point during the performance, probably during one of the MAENAD sections, for light (and heat -- it gets cold in the wild after dark). The performance should be timed so that by the middle of the play, stars are visible overhead, and by the end, the sky should be completely dark. Dramatically, we are at the border between some town or city and the wilderness beyond.

AT RISE: Sunset or dusk. The TRAVELER appears some ways away, and walks down to where the audience is seated.

TRAVELER
(to audience)
Hello. I am one of your other eyes.
(waits for response. when none comes, HE/SHE continues)
I am one of your other I’s.
(again, waits for response before continuing)
I am your left hand.
(waits)
Hello. I am you.
(waits)
Don’t you recognize me?
(waits)
You don’t, do you? You still think that I’m me and you’re you, and that’s that. Listen to me. I have something to tell you.

(enter ASTRONOMER, pushing the PHILOSOPHER in a wheelchair)
ASTRONOMER
Wait my friend. Do not say any more. Do you know where you are?

TRAVELER
I am right here.

ASTRONOMER
I think I know why you are here. Do not continue. Do not stay. Take your message elsewhere.

TRAVELER
Why should I not share what I have?

ASTRONOMER
Because you will be put to death. Your talk is dangerous. The ruler of this place has killed many others like you.

TRAVELER
You have not even heard what I have to say. How can you say that my talk is dangerous?

ASTRONOMER
You have something to say?

TRAVELER
Yes.

ASTRONOMER
That in itself is dangerous.
(pause)
Go. Go now.

TRAVELER
My only message is the world, and your ruler cannot hide from that.
(a beat)
I will go. I am easy to find.

(TRAVELER walks up to someone in the front row of the audience, takes his or her hand, and leads HIM/HER off. This person is actually one of the MAENADs, though HE/SHE had been pretending to be just another audience member.)

PHILOSOPHER
(Here, and throughout the play, the PHILOSOPHER’s lines are spoken by a voice-synthesizer attached to the PHILOSPHER’s wheelchair.)
Why did you do that?

ASTRONOMER
I couldn’t bear to see another one die.

PHILOSOPHER
His/her highness would be furious.

ASTRONOMER
His/her holiness needn’t ever find out.

PHILOSOPHER
But if he/she ever does find out, it will be your neck in a noose.

ASTRONOMER
(sarcastically)
Thank you so much for reminding me. I had almost forgotten.

PHILOSOPHER
What would I do, if you were gone?

ASTRONOMER
(stroking the PHILOSOPHER’s hair)
Don’t worry, my friend. He/she’ll never know. I won’t leave you.

PHILOSOPHER
I couldn’t bear to lose you.

(The ASTRONOMER embraces the PHILOSOPHER comfortingly)

PHILOSOPHER
Why do you risk your life for strangers?

ASTRONOMER
(Exasperated. This is conversation HE/SHE has had many times before.)
Because I have seen too many of these strangers die. You haven’t been to the executions. You don’t know how horrible it is. Do you remember the Greek?

PHILOSOPHER
The one who said “The unexamined life is not worth living”?

ASTRONOMER
You would remember his philosophy.

PHILOSOPHER
I am the court philosopher, after all. It is my job to remember.

ASTRONOMER
I don’t remember his philosophy. All I remember is the day our exalted ruler handed him that cup of hemlock. I remember the Greek taking the cup, saying “I should not gain anything by drinking the poison a little later, I whose life is already forfeit,” and draining it to the dregs. I remember him laying on the ground, clutching his stomach, screaming. Do you remember the last one, the Israeli? God, the look on his face as he looked up into the sky, realizing that all his faith and his ideals and his God weren’t going to save him.

PHILOSOPHER
Perhaps they deserved their punishment.

ASTRONOMER
They were human beings.

PHILOSOPHER
They were also liars.

ASTRONOMER
And what are you? The Court Philosopher! What is this “philosophy” you whisper into our ruler’s holy ear?

PHILOSOPHER
Yes, I am a liar. And I, too, have been punished for my lies. As anyone can see.
ASTRONOMER
(Pauses, feeling ashamed that HE/SHE has been cruel to his/her friend, the PHILOSOPHER.)
Why do you defend him/her? Surely you have more reason to hate him/her than I do.

PHILOSOPHER
Perhaps. But I also have more reason to love him/her.

(ASTRONOMER decides not to pursue this line of conversation any further. HE/SHE lies down and looks up into the sky.)

ASTRONOMER
It’s a nice sky, this evening.

PHILOSOPHER
What do you see, in the stars?

ASTRONOMER
Nothing. It’s too early to see the stars.

PHILOSOPHER
You know what I mean.

ASTRONOMER
Libra is rising. The Sun, Mars, and Saturn are in Aries. The Moon is in Cancer. Mercury and Venus are in Pisces, Jupiter in Aquarius, Uranus and Neptune in Capricorn, Pluto in Scorpio.

PHILOSOPHER
Business as usual, celestially speaking?

ASTRONOMER
(closes his/her eyes, as if reluctant to talk about it)
Hardly. There are other things, in the heavens.

PHILOSOPHER
The... phenomena?

ASTRONOMER
Yes. And more. Things I have never seen before. Things no one has ever seen before. A quasar appeared, last night.

PHILOSOPHER
You mean, you discovered a quasar.

ASTRONOMER
No. I mean a quasar appeared. In Taurus. One minute it wasn’t there, and the next minute it was. And it’s close. Less than 100 million parsecs. And then this morning three Type II supernovae appeared in Capricorn. Three, at once. The neutrino detectors picked them up a little before dawn. Right next to an Einstein-Rosen bridge.

PHILOSOPHER
An Einstein-Rosen bridge? I thought those were purely theoretical.

ASTRONOMER
They were. Until last night. I don’t know what else it could be. Just south of Gamma Capricornus. Couldn’t be more than 2 light years away. Closer than the closest star. And it’s blue-shifted. It’s heading this way -- very fast.

PHILOSOPHER
What do these things mean?

ASTRONOMER
I don’t know. Something big is happening. Something that we have never seen before.

(long pause)

ASTRONOMER
Do you believe in monsters?

PHILOSOPHER
Why do you ask?

ASTRONOMER
People are saying that there are monsters, now, prowling about in the desert beyond.

PHILOSOPHER
Monsters exist only in the mind.

ASTRONOMER
That is small comfort, for those who meet them.

(enter RULER)

RULER
(In the following lines, the RULER uses the correct gender for the TRAVELER, even though, as far as we know, the RULER has never seen the TRAVELER.)
I hear we have a new Messiah in town. Come out! Come out! Wherever you are! Aw, he/she’s shy. Come on, little Saviour. We’ll throw a big party for you. A dinner party. Just like Last Supper. You can be the main course. You should like that, if you’re anything like the last guy. He told us to eat his body, and drink his blood. So we did! Where a-a-a-are you? Where is he/she?
(looks at ASTRONOMER)
Warned off by one of my faithful subjects, no doubt. Tell me, Oh illustrious Astronomer, what has happened to this latest of arrivals to our humble kingdom.

ASTRONOMER
I have seen no one, my lord.

RULER
You are a liar. I really ought to have your head chopped off.
(pauses to look at ASTRONOMER as if considering having him/her executed on the spot)
Eh, some other day.
(stoops to address PHILOSOPHER, in an extremely condescending, sing-song voice, as if addressing an animal, perhaps also petting the PHILOSOPHER’s head, as if he/she were a large dog)
And what about you my Philosopher? Have you seen any big, bad Messiahs around? No, of course you haven’t. You’ve been busy cogitating, haven’t you?
(laughs, then stands again, to address ASTRONOMER)
You hate me, don’t you?

ASTRONOMER
Yes, my lord.

RULER
But you are afraid of me.

ASTRONOMER
Yes, my lord.

RULER
(pats ASTRONOMER on the head)
Good. I’d rather be feared than loved. We always betray those we love. Don’t worry. We’ll find this new Messiah, or prophet, or roshi, or whatever he/she is, this new voice crying in the wilderness. Justice will be done.

ASTRONOMER
Justice, my lord?

RULER
Yes, justice. This man/woman has nothing to fear, so long as he/she speaks truly. Though if he/she’s spreading lies...
(RULER draws his/her finger across his/her throat.)
Remember that Israeli?
(mimicking)
“Oh Father, why hast thou forsaken me?” Like he was so-o-o-o-o special. As if our Father who art in heaven gives a rat’s ass about anything besides His own amusement. “Son of God.”
(scoffs)
As if we weren’t all sons and daughters of God. As if God didn’t enjoy tormenting all of His children equally.

ASTRONOMER
And that’s why you had him crucified?

RULER
I had him crucified because he lied to his followers. As Ruler I have a duty to my subjects, and as High Priest I have a duty to my flock. And my duty in both capacities could not have been more clear: I must prevent my subjects and my flock from being deceived. That Israeli was a deceiver: he taught that God loves us, when it should be obvious to anyone with eyes in their head that God hates us, each and every one.

ASTRONOMER
Some of us deserve that hatred.

RULER
(flattered)
Well, I try.
(exits)

ASTRONOMER
(directed to the RULER who has left, though not so loud that he/she could possibly hear)
God does love us. Even you, you asshole.
(praying out loud)
Forgive me God. I know that I should love my enemies. Forgive me for hating that man/woman.

PHILOSOPHER
I have never understood this God which you and his/her majesty believe in.

ASTRONOMER
The God I believe in has nothing whatsoever to do with the God that his/her holiness preaches.

PHILOSOPHER
Let’s see... you say that God is omnipotent, omniscient, transcendent, unchanging and unchangeable, eternal, creator of the physical universe, and properly spelled G-O-D... His/her highness also says that God is all of those.

ASTRONOMER
But I believe in a God of love, and he/she believes in a God of hate. I believe in a God of beauty and he/she believes in a God of ugliness.

PHILOSOPHER
You say tomato, he/she says tomahto.

(ASTRONOMER exits, pushing PHILOSOPHER.)

END OF SCENE 1

ACT I

Scene 2

AT RISE: Between Scene 1 and Scene 2 there is a MAENAD section, indicating a passage of time, but not place. ASTRONOMER enters, pushing PHILOSOPHER. THEY are in the middle of a conversation.

ASTRONOMER
...so then Heisenberg says to me. “It’s a good thing Newton was wrong, otherwise, it might be easy to decide which color tie to wear!”

(ASTRONOMER laughs at his own anecdote)

PHILOSOPHER
Without indecisiveness, life would have no meaning.

ASTRONOMER
Right. Or without quantum uncertainty.

PHILOSOPHER
Same difference.

ASTRONOMER
You say tomato, I say tomahto.

PHILOSOPHER
Let’s call the whole thing off.

(Long pause)

PHILOSOPHER
When did you know that you wanted to be an astronomer?

ASTRONOMER
I don’t know. Looking into the heavens has been my life for as long as I can remember. They tell me that as a little baby I used to look up into the sky, and reach for the moon.

PHILOSOPHER
Many babies do that, actually. To a baby, the moon looks like just another bright, shiny toy. Something to grab and put into your mouth.

ASTRONOMER
Maybe to a baby it looks like a giant nipple in the sky.

PHILOSOPHER
Every baby’s dream: to suckle at the breast of the universe.

ASTRONOMER
I can never tell when you’re being facetious.

PHILOSOPHER
I know. I am sorry. It is because I cannot laugh. I do not miss the use of my natural voice so much, but I miss the ability to laugh. I have not been able to teach my synthetic voice to laugh. Not really. Tee he he. Ha ha ha. Ho ho ho. You see? It doesn’t really work.
(pause)
Then again, I cannot cry, either. Boo hoo hoo. You see? There is no real sadness to my tears. So perhaps I am the lucky one, after all.

(enter RULER)

RULER
Ah, there you are! Have you, perchance, seen any feral ladies passing this way?

ASTRONOMER
Feral ladies, my lord?

RULER
Yes. Feral. Wanton. Brutish. Uninhibited. Savage. Seems that some of our women have taken to the wilderness, in search of this alleged prophet, this pretty little pied piper singing his/her moon-songs.

PHILOSOPHER
And why do they seek him/her out, my lord?

RULER
After some exotic and enlightening deep-dicking/snatch, no doubt.
(the above sentence should be changed depending on the gender of the TRAVELER)
Christ, it’s not like they don’t take holiday on Lesbos often enough. But really, there’s work to be done this week. These women have responsibilities. Well, we’ll find them and knock some sense into them.

ASTRONOMER
And just what form shall this sense take, my lord? A draught of hemlock? Boiling in oil? Burning at the stake?

RULER
Really, my good Astronomer, you exaggerate my malevolence. I do my best to be fair. I firmly believe in the punishment fitting the crime. No, I will not kill any of them. Just tie them up and whip them a bit. Most of these women will probably enjoy it, perverted little hussies.
(looks around a bit more, then begins walking off, speaking to unseen attendants)
Guards! I want those truants apprehended as soon as possible. And Gimp, break out my leather straps and bondage gear. We have some royal discipline to administer...
(exits)

END OF SCENE 2

ACT I

Scene 3

AT RISE: Between Scene 2 and Scene 3 there is a MAENAD section, indicating change of place. We are now out in the wilderness with the TRAVELER and the MAENADs.

TRAVELER
Why have you come to me? What do you hope to gain?

MAENAD 1
I want to put an end to suffering.

MAENAD 2
I want to find that fulfillment that will assuage my longing.

MAENAD 3
My desires seem insatiable. I want to find that which will satisfy me forever and ever.

MAENAD 4
We have faith that your message can heal that incurable wound with which each of us is born.

TRAVELER
(searching very carefully for his/her words)
Pain and pleasure, longing and fulfillment, desire and satisfaction, these are not opposites. They do not annihilate one another. Rather, they sit next to each other, uncomfortably, like strangers on a bus.

END OF SCENE 3

ACT I

Scene 4

AT RISE: Between Scene 3 and Scene 4 there is a MAENAD section, indicating a change of place. We are now back in the RULER’s kingdom, inside the royal palace.

(enter ASTRONOMER and PHILOSOPHER. ASTRONOMER is preparing for bed, and is helping PHILOSOPHER to do likewise. Enter RULER)

RULER
Damn these women! The guards I sent have not returned. I suspect that they, too, were seduced by this traveler in the wild. They will pay for this heresy!

PHILOSOPHER
Heresy, my lord? Surely disobedience is not the same as heresy.

RULER
(This begins as more of a condescendingly pedantic exposition than a tirade.)
I am the High Priest, and they have defied my power, and thus, by extension, the power of God. The sole god of every religion, at bottom, is power. You may call that power the Holy Spirit or tapas or chi or the Tao, whatever. But at bottom they’re all about the same thing: power power power. Why did I have the Greek killed? Because I could. Why did I cut off the eye-lids of that Asian? Because I could.
(to audience)
And what about you: why do you hurt people? Why do you betray your friends’ trust? Why do you destroy those who have loved you? Because you can.
(back to ASTRONOMER and PHILOSOPHER)
We shall see who has power here, whose truth is the stronger. We shall see which god is God.

(exit RULER)

PHILOSOPHER
Funny, don’t you think? Worrying about which non-existent entity has the most power? If the figments of my imagination are stronger than the figments of your imagination, does that mean that I am stronger than you, or weaker? Maybe his/her nothing can beat up their nothing. So what?

ASTRONOMER
Always the skeptic. Tell me, why are you skeptical of my religion but not of my astronomy? You believe what I tell you about the stars, but not what I tell you about God. Why?

PHILOSOPHER
I can see the stars.

ASTRONOMER
But you don’t know what they mean, until I tell you. I tell you that Jupiter and the Sun are in conjunction in a natal chart, and that this indicates a cultured mind and a sense of humour, and you believe me. Why?
PHILOSOPHER
Because I understand, even if you do not, what these meanings really mean. You may think that you are telling me about the stars and planets, but you are really telling me about us. The heavens can tell us about ourselves, because we have made the heavens in our own image. We humans have always made the universe in our own image.

ASTRONOMER
And what about God? Shouldn’t you also believe in God, then, since, in your opinion, no doubt, we also create God in our own image?

PHILOSOPHER
No, we do not create God in our own image. We create God in the image of everything we are not, everything we lack. I should not have said that God does not exist, for in saying that I give Him more reality than He deserves. God does not rise even to the dignity of absence.

ASTRONOMER
If atheists did not exist, it would be necessary to invent them.

PHILOSOPHER
If Truth did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. Do you realize that almost none of the important thinkers since the Enlightenment have taken the idea of God seriously? At least not the sort of God that his/her highness and you are so worried about.

ASTRONOMER
René Descartes? Bishop Berkeley? John Locke?

PHILOSOPHER
They were before the Enlightenment, and they hardly had a choice. Anyone admitting to atheism in their time would be ostracized, or perhaps even beheaded. Even the greatest minds tend not to function well once severed from their respective bodies. As soon as it was safe to do so, the great philosophers abandoned God and devoted their thoughts to important matters, to serious philosophical questions.

ASTRONOMER
The only serious philosophical question is whether or not to kill yourself.

PHILOSOPHER
And how often do you ask that question?

ASTRONOMER
Every day.
(pause)
Here, let me show you something.
(takes out suicide kit)
I keep this with me always. Sleeping pills. Peppermint Schnapps. And in this one a couple of antihistamine tablets. See, you take the antihistamine a half hour before the others, to prevent vomiting. You want the pills and the alcohol to stay down long enough to do you in. And just to make absolutely certain, you put this plastic bag over your head with a rubber band.
(pause)
I decided long ago that I would not continue living simply out of habit. This life is not a prison. We are free to leave whenever we choose. If I am alive today it is because I choose to be alive. Every day is a choice.
Life is much less scary when you remember that there is always a way out. Is life a gift, or a burden? A gift which one must accept is no gift. Life ceases to be a burden only when you know you are free to end it.
(pause)
Don’t worry, my friend. I have had this kit for many years now, and I am still here. It is now more a symbol of freedom than anything else.
(Long pause, possibly filled with ASTRONOMER’S bedtime rituals.)
Do you consider yourself a great philosopher?

PHILOSOPHER
That is not for me to judge.

ASTRONOMER
I mean, do you think that, in a hundred years, people will be sitting around discussing your ideas?

PHILOSOPHER
That depends in part on whether, in a hundred years, there are any records of my ideas to be discussed.

ASTRONOMER
As if there wouldn’t be. I know perfectly well that you stay up late every night, recording things on your machine.

PHILOSOPHER
Yes, I record my thoughts. It seems to me that it is one’s duty to do so. Every human being lives a life unlike any other. Who else has seen this world through my eyes? I know that I have learned things in this life which no one else ever has, or ever will -- not because I see more clearly, but because I have lived this life, and no other.

ASTRONOMER
For my part, I rather suspect that all of my thoughts have already been thought a million times before. Good night. I will see you in the morning.

PHILOSOPHER
Sweet dreams.

(ASTRONOMER retires to bed, taking the suicide kit with him/her. Enter RULER.)

PHILOSOPHER
Your highness?

RULER
(sarcastically, as always)
Yes, Oh most learnéd of philosophers?

PHILOSOPHER
Would you do something for me?

RULER
(bowing, laughing cruelly)
Your wish is my command.

PHILOSOPHER
(ignoring the RULER’s sarcasm)
The Court Astronomer keeps a box by his/her bed. Could you, without waking him/her up, bring that box to me... please?

RULER
(still maliciously jolly, though perhaps already suspecting what this box is and why the PHILOSOPHER wants it)
At once, my liege!

(RULER goes quietly to where the ASTRONOMER is sleeping, and picks up the box. As S/HE returns with the box, S/HE opens it and looks inside, confirming HIS/HER suspicions. S/HE hands the box to the PHILOSOPHER without a word, though with an odd expression -- simultaneously cruel and pitying -- then walks away.)

RULER
(looking up into the sky)
There. Another one escapes from you... for a while.

(RULER exits)

(PHILOSOPHER opens the box, swallows the sleeping pills and drinks the Schnapps, then puts the plastic bag over HIS/HER head. The plastic bag inflates and deflates with each breath. This continues for a long time, almost to the point of boredom, and then the PHILOSOPHER stops breathing, and the bag remains still. An ANGEL appears, removes the bag, kisses the dead PHILOSOPHER. The PHILOSOPHER rises from HIS/HER wheelchair, and dances with the ANGEL. At the end of this pas de deux the PHILOSOPHER may either return to the wheelchair, replacing the bag over HIS/HER head, or may exit with the ANGEL. If the PHILOSOPHER exits, some device should be used to indicate that HIS/HER body is still in the wheelchair. Perhaps the PHILOSOPHER’s costume could be constructed in such a way that when HE/SHE rises from the wheelchair, HIS/HER clothing remains in the chair.)

(The next morning. The ASTRONOMER wakes up, rises, does normal morning rituals: yawning, stretching, etc., then walks to where the PHILOSOPHER’s body sits lifeless in HIS/HER wheelchair. Upon seeing the PHILOSOPHER’s body, the ASTRONOMER registers instantly what has happened, and collapses in grief. The RULER walks up behind him, and puts a hand on his shoulder. Throughout the following scene, the RULER’s air is one of someone who is secretly amused by what is happening, but who is trying to act appropriately grave. After silently comforting the ASTRONOMER, the RULER walks to the wheelchair, examines the plastic bag, secretly fascinated by this simple instrument of death, then examines the PHILOSOPHER’s computer.)

RULER
There’s a message.

ASTRONOMER
I know.

(The RULER begins fiddling with the computer, trying unsuccessfully to read the message. The RULER obviously does not know how to operate the computer. The ASTRONOMER, though HE/SHE seemed not to have been paying attention, gets up with a sigh, walks to where the RULER stands, and casually brushes the RULER aside in order to operate the computer HIM/HERSELF. The RULER registers this as extremely insolent behavior from a subject, but decides to let it pass, given the circumstances.)

RULER
(Momentarily dropping HIS/HER façade of solemnity.)
I always hated computers.

(The ASTRONOMER gives the RULER an overtly hateful look, then hits one more key on the laptop.)

PHILOSOPHER’S LAPTOP
I hope no one will misinterpret this decision. I die now, not to put an end to suffering, but to be a child again. As a child, I looked on the world wide-eyed with wonder. As a child, I would reach for every bright, beautiful thing, to put in my mouth. I can no longer be that child. I know too much. I have eaten of the fruit of the tree of knowledge, and nothing can surprise me anymore. Every experience, every joy and pain and sorrow and ecstasy, is now poisoned by familiarity. Why should I continue to put these bright, beautiful things in my mouth, when I already know what they taste like? I die now in order to forget all that I know. I die now so that I might start again at the beginning, and learn everything all over again. I die now so that I may once again have the capacity for wonder. Do not be sad. I am not gone. The next time you see a child playing, or young lovers, or a baby reaching her tiny hand for the moon, remember that I am that child, those lovers, that baby. The game continues, and I am still playing.

ASTRONOMER
He was only 25.

PHILOSOPHER’S LAPTOP
Where is the tragedy? Some lives are novels, others short stories, others haiku. Why count the lines and the pages? I had lived as much as I could. It was time to finish my business, and move on.

END OF ACT I

ACT II

Scene 1

AT RISE: At the beginning of Act 2 there is a MAENAD section which also involves the ASTRONOMER. We see the ASTRONOMER go through various stages of grief, which takes HIM/HER eventually out to the desert. The ASTRONOMER finds the TRAVELER and MAENADs in a pile, caressing each other, feeding each other, laughing.

TRAVELER
Welcome, my friend!
(ASTRONOMER just stares, at nothing in particular, stony-faced.)
Have you come to find solace?
(again, no response)
What is your desire?

ASTRONOMER
It is my own fault.

TRAVELER
Yes, the whole world is your fault. But the world is beautiful. Why reproach yourself for that?

ASTRONOMER
(as if to him/herself)
I was warned. “Love the Lord thy God with all of thy heart and soul and mind.” “Love not the things of this world.” One’s love should be for God alone. Love anything else and your heart will be broken. Desire anything else, and you will live a life of suffering.

TRAVELER
Life is suffering.

ASTRONOMER
All my life I have loved things other than God; I have wanted things other than God: Friends. Lovers. Astronomy. Success. Pleasure. I see now the price I have paid for this idolatry, the price I have always paid.
(finally addressing the TRAVELER directly)
I have heard you are a... teacher. Teach me how to love God, and God alone.

TRAVELER
Pleasure is the doorway to truth. The deepest knowledge is that which comes to us through the skin.

ASTRONOMER
Desire is the origin of suffering. Teach me how to put an end to desire. Teach me how to put an end to suffering.

SOPHIA
Suffering is the origin of wisdom. Don’t you want to be wise?

TRAVELER
There is no use in limiting your desires. No matter how little you want, the universe will always give you slightly less. Why slither on the ground, wanting to crawl, when you could just as easily leap into the air, wanting to fly? You could draw down the moon if only you would grasp for the stars.

SOPHIA
(inviting the ASTRONOMER to join them)
My name is Sophia.

ASTRONOMER
“Sophia” means wisdom.

SOPHIA
Means? Means!? I do not mean. I am. I am wisdom. I am suffering. I am pleasure and pain and joy and flesh. I am the blood of the moon. I am the Goddess. I am one of your other eyes. I am your left hand. I am you. Don’t you recognize me?
(The TRAVELER and MAENADs leave, leaving the ASTRONOMER and SOPHIA alone together.)
What is it that you desire?

ASTRONOMER
To serve God with my whole heart. I have tried, and failed.

SOPHIA
And what is God?

ASTRONOMER
Not what. Who. God is... God is... I don’t know. God is that something that will fill the hole inside of me. God is the source of everything, the great giver towards whom every soul yearns.

SOPHIA
You think that God is something you have never seen or heard or touched or tasted, or even clearly imagined. In truth, God is everything you have seen and heard, everything you have touched, everything you have tasted, everything you have dreamed. Here, feel this.
(SHE hands the ASTRONOMER a stone.)
This is God. Feel this.
(SHE slaps the ASTRONOMER across the face.)
This is God. Feel this.
(SHE takes the ASTRONOMER’s hand and puts it on her breast.)
This is God.
(a beat)
Your god demands worship. What I worship says: “Behold! All acts of Love and Pleasure are my Rituals.”

(ASTRONOMER and SOPHIA make love. This should probably be indicated abstractly, perhaps using the MAENADs. In any event, the following scene should be understood as post-coital.)

ASTRONOMER
Yes, this is beautiful. But is it true?

SOPHIA
“Beauty is truth, truth beauty,——that is all we know on earth, and all we need to know.”

ASTRONOMER
But is it? When I touch another human being... when I touch you, I feel as if I were transported to Paradise. But this isn’t Paradise; this is Earth; and if I think I am in Paradise then I must simply have lost touch with reality.

SOPHIA
And what is this “reality” which you need so desperately to keep in touch with? Where is this “reality”? Show it to me. Is it buried under the ground? Maybe it’s hiding behind that bush.
(looks behind the bush)
Oop. No reality here. Or maybe reality got stuck up your ass. Did you check there? You think reality is something eternal and unchangeable, like that God you’re so worried about. You think reality will come to you in words and charts and diagrams. But words are never true. Words pretend to be what they are not, and deny being what they are. The word “mouth” will never give you a blow job/ eat your pussy.
(the above sentence should be changed depending on the gender of the ASTRONOMER)
My mouth will.

PHILOSOPHER’S LAPTOP
(singing)
Oh the word is not the thing, the word is not the thing. Hey ho the derry-oh, the word is not the thing.

SOPHIA
This body is true, because it does not pretend to be anything but this body. Lose touch with reality, then maybe you will learn that there is no reality with which to lose touch. This moment is the only truth you will ever know; and this moment is the only truth you will ever need.

(a beat)

ASTRONOMER
What brought you here?

(SOPHIA is thoughtful for a moment, then looks around her carefully until she finds a large stone. SHE picks up the stone and hands it to the ASTRONOMER.)

ASTRONOMER
I don’t understand.

SOPHIA
What brought you here?

(ASTRONOMER stands. The following lines are delivered to empty space, not to where the wheelchair still sits on stage. Although the words are identical to ones spoken before, this is not an “instant replay” -- the ASTRONOMER is now speaking with full knowlege of what will come after, and it is torture for HIM/HER to do so.)

ASTRONOMER
Here, let me show you something.
(pantomimes taking out suicide kit)
I keep this with me always. Sleeping pills. Peppermint Schnapps. And in this one a couple of antihistamine tablets. See, you take the antihistamine a half hour before the others, to prevent vomiting. You want the pills and the alcohol to stay down long enough to do you in. And just to make absolutely certain, you put this plastic bag over your head with a rubber band.
(pause)
I decided long ago that I would not continue living simply out of habit. This life is not a prison. We are free to leave whenever we choose. If I am alive today it is because I choose to be alive. Every day is a choice.
Life is much less scary when you remember that there is always a way out. Is life a gift, or a burden? A gift which one must accept is no gift. Life ceases to be a burden only when you know you are free to end it.
(to SOPHIA)
Must I continue? Must I also relive what I didn’t say?

SOPHIA
(with tears in her eyes)
There is nothing you must do. This is my gift to you, but a gift which one must accept is no gift.

(ASTRONOMER, though racked with grief, continues.)

ASTRONOMER
But just today I decided that you deserve the same freedom as I. Though you are my dearest friend, I cannot continue to let you live simply out of habit. Your life has been a prison, and I have been your jailer. No longer! You are free to leave whenever you choose. You are free to leave me whenever you choose. I wanted you to keep living. I wanted your life to be your gift to me. But a gift which one takes by force or deception is no gift. I have taken your friendship. Now I give you your freedom.

(ASTRONOMER falls to his/her knees, weeping. SOPHIA goes to comfort HIM/HER.)

END OF SCENE 1

ACT II

Scene 2

AT RISE: Between Scene 1 and Scene 2 there is a MAENAD section, indicating a change of place. We are now at the border between the community and the wilderness. Enter RULER.

RULER
God hates us. God hates us. God hates us! God hates us? No, God doesn’t care enough to hate us. God doesn’t care about us, one way or the other. Look at me: I have served God all my life. I have raped, tortured, killed. Surely I, of all people, should be deserving of the Creator’s hatred. But He ignores me.
(He/she looks up into the sky)
Hey up there! Yeah, you! Can you hear me? I want you to notice me!
(begins throwing stones up into the darkness and shouting)
Hate me! Love me! Destroy me! Bless me! Strike me down with lightening! Send me to Hell! I don’t care! Just notice me, you omnipotent piece of shit! I’m here! I exist! I matter!
(throws one final stone)

SOPHIA
(off)
Ow!

RULER
Who said that? Who’s there?

(enter SOPHIA, irate and rubbing her head)

SOPHIA
I did. Watch where you’re throwing things.

RULER
Sorry. I was throwing stones at God.

SOPHIA
Well you’ve hit her. Or a piece of her.

RULER
You’re one of his/her followers, aren’t you?
(RULER is obviously referring to the TRAVELER, not God)

SOPHIA
In a manner of speaking.

RULER
Take me to him/her.

SOPHIA
He/she’s not far.

(enter TRAVELER, followed by a number of MAENADs. The TRAVELER is in the character of a bad stand-up comedian, though it should be obvious to the audience that this is a performance put on for the RULER. This is not the way in which the TRAVELER and the MAENADs normally interact.)

TRAVELER
No. Not far at all.

RULER
So. I’ve found you at last.

TRAVELER
Found me? I didn’t know I was lost.
(RULER rolls his eyes)
Tell me. What brings a great ruler out to the desert to visit me?

RULER
I have heard rumours of your great wisdom.

TRAVELER
My wisdom? Who has been spreading such malicious lies about me? I’ll rip out their tongue! Or would, if I weren’t completely and utterly opposed to needless violence.

RULER
So what do you do, besides stand-up comedy?

TRAVELER
I practice, and teach, an ancient and noble profession.

RULER
And what profession is that?

TRAVELER
The profession of being the Fool.

RULER
I can see that you are quite accomplished at it.

TRAVELER
Thank you.

RULER
Tell me, oh most accomplished of fools. How do you teach this profession to others?

TRAVELER
We were just about to start a lesson. Observe!
(puts on a stern countenance, and calls to the MAENADs)
Students! Students! Attend!
(TRAVELER picks up a branch)
Who can tell me what this is?

MAENAD 1
It’s a branch.

(TRAVELER hits MAENAD 1 with the branch)

TRAVELER
Wrong!

MAENAD 2
It’s one of the Goddess’s fingers!

(TRAVELER hits MAENAD 2 with the branch)

TRAVELER
Not!

MAENAD 3
It’s me! It’s me!

TRAVELER
No! No! No!

(TRAVELER hits MAENAD 3 repeatedly)

SOPHIA
Here, let me see it, and then I can tell you what it is.

(TRAVELER hands SOPHIA the branch, though evidently with great skepticism that SHE will fare any better than the others. As soon as SOPHIA has the branch, however, she begins hitting the TRAVELER with it. They both laugh as SHE chases the TRAVELER around the standing RULER.)

TRAVELER
(still being chased by SOPHIA)
As you can see, she is one of my most advanced students.

(SOPHIA finally corners the TRAVELER and gives him/her a playful thrashing)

TRAVELER
Okay! Okay! You win!

(They wrestle for a moment, then kiss as the TRAVELER takes the branch from her.)

TRAVELER
(to the RULER)
It’s not easy being a teacher.

(TRAVELER sneaks up behind SOPHIA as she is walking away and swings the branch at her, but she ducks just in time, then turns and sticks out her tongue at the TRAVELER.)

TRAVELER
(to RULER, proudly)
Isn’t she good?

(SOPHIA again turns to walk away, and the TRAVELER swats SOPHIA’s bottom with the branch. SOPHIA responds with mock indignation.)

TRAVELER
So this is what I do. Would you care for a lesson? It will, of course, be difficult to make a Fool out of an exalted and enlightened ruler such as yourself. But I’m sure that, with practice and discipline, even you could one day become as great a Fool as I.

(During the above, SOPHIA has picked up a handful of dirt, and thrown it at the back of the TRAVELER’s head. The TRAVELER, however, ducks -- without missing a beat in his dialogue -- and the dirt hits the RULER square in the face.)

END OF SCENE 2

ACT II

Scene 3

AT RISE: Between Scene 2 and Scene 3 there is a MAENAD section, involving the RULER, TRAVELER, and ASTRONOMER. We see, through gesture, the RULER joining the philosophical discussion which has, essentially, continued since the arrival of the ASTRONOMER. The RULER and the TRAVELER are, in effect, battling for the ASTRONOMER’s soul.

RULER
You’re afraid you’ll die and go to Hell? Hello! Wake up and smell the coffee! You’re already dead, and this is Hell. You’ve died and gone to Hell!
(laughs)
Look out there.
(HE/SHE gestures towards the audience)
Look at all these people. Look at all the pain, the loneliness, the broken hearts, the tears, the hatred. This must be Hell. Where else could this be? We have been damned to Hell, trapped here by a sadistic Creator.

ASTRONOMER
Perhaps this world is Hell only because we choose to make it so. Perhaps the sadistic creator is we ourselves. Trapped? Yes, I suppose we are trapped. But the gates of Hell lock only from the inside.

(MAENAD section, similar to that between Scenes 2 and 3.)

TRAVELER
You hope to go to Heaven after you die? Didn’t you know? You have already died. This is Heaven. Look around you. See these stars, this canyon. See these people, these faces. The loves each one keeps in their heart, hidden away and cherished, like a secret treasure.
(singles out a single person from the audience)
Look at these eyes, the way they sparkle in the firelight. God looks at us through these eyes!
(addressing this person in the audience)
The whole universe looks out through your eyes.
(The following line(s) depend upon how this person reacts to being singled out. I have indicated a few possibilities, but the actor playing the TRAVELER must be prepared to extemporize here.)
And laughter! / And silence! / And tears!
It’s all so beautiful. Where could this be, but Heaven?

ASTRONOMER
But is Heaven what any of us really want? Perhaps this prolific excess of beauty is the cause of all our pain.

(MAENAD section, similar to above, but in the end the ASTRONOMER breaks free from the conflicting influences of the TRAVELER and the RULER and the MAENADs, and seeks out SOPHIA. End with ASTRONOMER and SOPHIA alone together.)

ASTRONOMER
I cannot decide if life is sweet or sour. This universe is balanced on a knife blade between good and evil, between beauty and horror. It’s excruciating. I think I would prefer Hell to this uncertainty, this precariousness.

SOPHIA
But if this were Heaven or Hell, we would all be powerless. You wouldn’t be able to change anything. One finite little human could never make a Heaven of Hell, or a Hell of Heaven. But this is neither Heaven nor Hell. This is Earth, so exquisitely balanced between light and dark that the tiniest insect might tip the balance. Even you, even me.
(SHE gestures towards the audience.)
Any one of these tiny, fragile, almost powerless human beings could create Paradise.

ASTRONOMER
So why don’t they? Why don’t they end this suffering?
(to audience, screaming)
How can you let this horror continue? You! Why don’t you stop it? Why?

(SOPHIA puts a hand on the ASTRONOMER, to calm HIM/HER)

SOPHIA
Why don’t you?

ASTRONOMER
(pause. The ASTRONOMER is here confessing a secret shame.)
Because I prefer the balance. I would rather hurt, and matter. That is my choice.

PHILOSOPHER’S LAPTOP
That is your choice. Others have chosen differently. Others would rather be comforted, and insignificant.

END OF SCENE 3

ACT II

Scene 4

AT RISE: There could be a MAENAD section between Scene 3 and Scene 4, or not. Enter TRAVELER, RULER, and MAENADs.

TRAVELER
Imagine, for a moment, that you were God. You were this omnipotent, omniscient being. What would you do?

MAENAD 1
I would put an end to suffering, and give all my creations bliss and happiness.

TRAVELER
Okay. But imagine this is before you’ve created anything. You’re God, and that’s all that there is. There are no other beings for which you need to take responsibility.

MAENAD 1
Then I would create a perfect universe, full of happy, contented creatures.

MAENAD 2
No. I wouldn’t create any universe at all. It would be enough simply to know myself to be God. Why drag other beings into the picture, without their consent? Why not leave well enough alone?

TRAVELER
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

MAENAD 2
Exactly.

SOPHIA
(affecting a valley-girl accent)
If I were, like, God, I would, like, ya know, make a naked man and a naked woman and like put them in this like totally beautiful garden. And then I’d like put an apple tree in like the middle of this garden, and like tell the man and the woman: look dudes, have fun, but whatever you do, like, don’t eat any of those apples, okay? Even though I’d like totally know that they were going to like eat the apples anyway, cuz these naked dudes would be, like, so totally curious, you know? So then I’d like punish them and like throw them out of the garden an’ shit, but two thousand years later, I’d go down and, you know, like incarnate as this like totally righteous long-haired hippy guy with like sandals and a white robe an’ shit like that, and I’d be like totally the bomb, but then these like totally uptight prude Pharisee dudes would come along and like gang up on me and like kill me in the most like totally gnarly way, but then I’d like come back to life an’ shit and like talk to people and then I’d like fly up into the sky. And this whole like dying and like coming back to life deal would like somehow make everything be all cool again, even though everybody would still be miserable. And that would be, like, a totally awesome way to run a universe, you know?

(All the other MAENADs burst into hysterical laughter. Even the RULER can’t help cracking a smile. SOPHIA and the TRAVELER are amused, but not hysterically so. The ASTRONOMER is the only one who is not at all amused, since it is his/her religion which is being mocked.)

TRAVELER
So tell us, Astronomer, what would you do, if you were God.

ASTRONOMER
I would... to be honest, I would probably start by fulfilling every puerile, adolescent fantasy I’ve ever had. I’d create universes full of sex and pleasure, and live in them. I’d be a great king with a harem of the most beautiful concubines.

RULER
Believe me, it’s not as much fun as it sounds.

ASTRONOMER
I’d be a king with no responsibilities, and with a harem of the most desirable men and women. I would surround myself with the most beautiful, voluptuous women and most gorgeous men I could ever imagine, all begging to have sex with me. And I could change at will between being a man and being a woman. I would know what it was like to penetrate and to be penetrated, to receive fellatio or cunnilingus. And not just sex. I would create other pleasures for myself as well: food, and sunsets, and music, and... I would experience every pleasure ever imagined.

TRAVELER
This astronomer has shown the most wisdom yet, in answering my question! So tell us, what would you do next, after you had tasted every pleasure you can imagine?

ASTRONOMER
I suppose then I would want some adventure in my universe. I would try being a knight in shining armor, rescuing beautiful princesses from evil dragons. Or I’d be James Bond, foiling evil masterminds and bedding beautiful, air-headed women.

TRAVELER
But you’d always know that you’d come out victorious.

ASTRONOMER
Yes. At least at first. Maybe later, to make the game more interesting, I might make myself forget that I was God, and that I was sure to win in the end. I might try one of my adventures as if it were for real, so that I would be really scared that I might lose, and that something terrible might happen to me. Which would make the victory just that much sweeter, in the end.

TRAVELER
But you’d always win.

ASTRONOMER
Well. Maybe after a while, I’d see what it was like to lose, to be a brave knight who was defeated, who was forced to watch in horror as the dragon ate the beautiful princess, and then ate me.

RULER
Rather hard luck for the princess.

ASTRONOMER
Well, I’d be the princess as well. And the dragon. I would be all of the sentient beings in my universe -- because I’d want to know what it was like, and because I wouldn’t want to bring another being into existence against its will.

SOPHIA
You’d only be the sentient beings?

ASTRONOMER
(pauses to consider this)
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a pebble, or a star. No, I guess I would be everything in my universe. I would see what it was like to be every being I could imagine. Since I had already experienced every pleasure imaginable, I would want also to experience every pain. I would experience every agony, every terror. I would want to know what it was like to be a tiny, powerless speck within a universe that appeared unimaginably vast and utterly indifferent.
(begins to realize the implications of his/her words, but shrugs this off, imitating SOPHIA’s earlier feigned ditsiness)
Because I’d be, like, so totally curious, you know?

TRAVELER
Wouldn’t that be unbearable, even for a God?

ASTRONOMER
(thinking very carefully, before speaking)
I don’t think I’d have the courage to do that, even if I were God. Unless... unless I could somehow send myself little clues, little hints to remind me that I was really God, and that all of this was really just a fantasy and an experiment.

TRAVELER
Like what sort of clues?

ASTRONOMER
I don’t know. It couldn’t be anything too obvious, otherwise it would ruin the game. Something that would always let me figure out that I was God, if I really had to, but which would be too difficult otherwise. Something that I would only use in emergencies. A panic button. An “In case of emergency, break glass” sort of thing. Maybe I could make certain plants that, if I ate them, would let me see myself as I really was, but which tasted really bad and were dangerous and scary in other ways, so that I’d only use them if I absolutely had to. Or... I would make sure that each of my incarnations had the ability to dream, and to create their own little universes. That way, if I really thought about it, I could deduce that I was really my own dream, and that everything I experienced was my own creation. No, I would put the clues all over. I would make sure that wherever I looked, my own omnipotence would be looking me in the face, if only I chose to look. I would put clues on the ground and call them stones. I would put clues in the sky and call them stars, I would...

(ASTRONOMER achieves satori)

TRAVELER
Another one figures it out.

RULER
Satori. That experience in which, for one infinitesimal moment, the universe makes sense. Of course, it goes by other names. Where I come from, that experience is achieved quite easily. We call it an orgasm.

TRAVELER
(irked by RULER’s glibness; perhaps slightly defensive)
It is a beautiful thing, to watch someone find satori.

SOPHIA
It is a beautiful thing, to watch someone have an orgasm.

(ASTRONOMER comes out of his/her trance, excited by what HE/SHE has discovered, wanting to share this discovery with the RULER, with SOPHIA, with the AUDIENCE, with everyone.)

ASTRONOMER
I see. Don’t you see? Don’t you see? It’s us! All of this is our own creation, our own play, our own wild, far-out fantasy!

RULER
My dear Astronomer, curb your enthusiasm.

ASTRONOMER
But don’t you see?

RULER
Yes, but you have not finished answering this wise traveler’s question.

ASTRONOMER
But I have! I see! This universe is...

RULER
Please, continue: if you were God, what would you do next?

ASTRONOMER
I suppose the game would then be to see how long it would take me to figure out that I was God. I would make my universe as a sort of puzzle -- a sort of whodunit mystery. How long would it take me to figure out that I was the culprit? That I was the one behind it all.

RULER
And then? When that got too easy?

ASTRONOMER
I might start putting in false clues. Misleading clues. Like a mythology about some hippy-guy who got nailed to a cross. Or...
(a long pause)
...like, some traveler, telling me that I’m really God.

(Another long pause as the ASTRONOMER attempts to sort out the implications of this in his/her own mind.)

RULER
And what then?

ASTRONOMER
And then would come the day when I went too far. When I created a puzzle so complicated that even omniscience couldn’t find its way out. When I trapped myself for eternity in a fantasy of my own making. The dream from which I could never awake.

PHILOSOPHER’S LAPTOP
We are God, and God is mad. This world, this senseless chaos of mind and energy, space, sensation, tears, love, pain, is nothing but our own nightmare, nothing but the schizophrenic delusions of omnipotence gone insane.

TRAVELER
(to MAENADs, but with the subtle, or perhaps not-so-subtle, intention of being overheard by the RULER)
Gather around, my friends. It is time. There, beyond the firelight, is the center.
(gestures to an area in the darkness beyond)

MAENAD 1
The center of what?

TRAVELER
Of everything.
(pause)
It is a place of wonder, and nightmares. It is the next step. It is a difficult place, but I believe that you are all ready.

MAENAD 2
What will we find there?

TRAVELER
Only what you bring there with you.

RULER
(mocking)
Oh, how horrible!

MAENAD 3
I will go.

(MAENAD 3 looks around, as if bidding farewell to the others, then goes off into the darkness. All wait in silence as HE/SHE goes. When HE/SHE arrives, we hear his/her gasps of astonishment. MAENAD 3 returns, shaking, overwhelmed, but intact. HE/SHE is not able to speak, but HE/SHE nods yes, it is okay.)

MAENAD 1
I will go.

(Similar to above, but when HE/SHE arrives at the center, HE/SHE bursts into laughter. HE/SHE runs back, laughing and crying. HE/SHE embraces several of the MAENADs, then kisses the TRAVELER.)

MAENAD 1
(whispering)
Thank you.

MAENAD 2
I will go.

(MAENAD 2 goes to the center, as the others did. But when HE/SHE arrives, we hear nothing. HE/SHE does not return.)

TRAVELER
(bowing HIS/HER head in sadness)
He/she will not be returning.

(SOPHIA stands up, and nods to the TRAVELER. It seems more difficult for her to leave than it had been for the others. SHE embraces the ASTRONOMER. She then goes to the center. We hear nothing for a long time. SHE returns, silently. SHE has changed. Perhaps SHE is wearing some sort of mask or head-dress. SHE moves like a ghost, as if she is no longer part of this world. SHE says nothing.)

RULER
I will go.

TRAVELER
I do not think that is wise.

RULER
I am not afraid.

TRAVELER
No? You ought to be. I can see a little of what is inside of you: the fires of your hatred, the demons that fuel your thirst for truth. I fear that you will be destroyed by what is inside of you.

RULER
I am not afraid of demons. My demons have always been my truest friends. I will go.

TRAVELER
Suit yourself. “Do as thou wilt” is the whole of my law.

(The RULER goes out into the darkness. We hear HIM/HER laugh. The RULER returns, carrying a small parcel. HE/SHE is laughing, but there is still something cruel in his/her laughter. Throughout the following exchange, the RULER does not really seem to have changed, HIS/HER words notwithstanding.)

RULER
Yes. It is exactly as I imagined.

TRAVELER
(puzzled by the RULER’s easy return)
You saw... it?

RULER
I saw Her, yes.

TRAVELER
The Goddess?

RULER
Who else?

TRAVELER
What did She say?

(The RULER just smiles, but doesn’t answer.)

TRAVELER
What happened?

RULER
We made wild and passionate love. What else does one do with a Goddess?

(The RULER and the TRAVELER exchange a long, meaningful look)

TRAVELER
There is more to you than I... imagined.

RULER
Of course. There is always more to a person than anyone imagines.

TRAVELER
Yes. I suppose you are right.

RULER
You have sent us to that place, to find what we would find. Do you not think it is time you went, yourself?

(The TRAVELER comes closer to the RULER.)

TRAVELER
(indicating the parcel)
What’s that?

RULER
Gifts from the Goddess.

TRAVELER
What’s inside?

RULER
It’s a secret.
(a beat)
Go. She is waiting for you.

(They hold hands for a moment, and then the TRAVELER leaves for the center. We hear HIM/HER moving through the brush, but cannot see HIM/HER. When HE/SHE arrives at “the center”, MONSTERS rise up around HIM/HER, then descend upon HIM/HER. We hear his/her screams, and then, suddenly, silence. The RULER begins laughing. The ASTRONOMER is horrified.)

RULER
You old fool. You ancient, ancient fool.

ASTRONOMER
I... I don’t understand. You! You killed him/her!

RULER
(Now the RULER’s cruel façade comes off. There is a sincerity and compassion in the rest of his/her lines which was not there before.)
No. I did not kill him/her. He/she found the Goddess within, and that destroyed him/her. I knew it would.

ASTRONOMER
I don’t understand. He/she was so good. He/she was trying so hard to help us.

RULER
He/she wanted to wake everyone up. But if we were all awake, how could any of us dream?

ASTRONOMER
He/she never lied.

RULER
No, he/she never lied. I would not have had him/her put to death, not under my law. But there are higher laws, and speaking the truth should not prevent one from keeping secrets. He/she wanted to give away the secret.

ASTRONOMER
He/she could have been any of us.

RULER
Yes. He/she could have been any of us. None of us are very good at keeping the secret. Not you. Not I. Not these stones, or this fire, or these stars. Everything is trying to whisper the secret in our ears. They can’t help it.
(RULER walks up to the audience, and opens the parcel. Inside are ordinary wilderness objects: a stone, a branch, a leaf, etc. As the RULER talks, he/she hands these objects, one-by-one, to people in the audience.)
Here. This stone is trying to tell you something. Here, take this. This leaf has a secret to share.
(RULER continues, extemporizing as necessary, and interspersing objects from the parcel with objects picked up from the ground around the audience. Everyone in the audience should receive something. While this is going on, the MAENADs should slip unobtrusively off. The ASTRONOMER and RULER are alone by the time the RULER has finished.)
This stone and wood and earth and flesh are whispering the secret. Listen!

(All wait in silence. Finally, when the spell has been stretched for as long as possible, the RULER takes off his/her costume, revealing normal clothes underneath —— whatever the actor playing the RULER would normally wear —— and then sits down in the audience. The actor drops all pretense of being his/her character. We then hear a susurration in the bushes, barely audible at first, then louder. Finally, individual words can be made out:)

WHISPERS
(These are many overlapping, whispering voices. The words appear in no particular order.)
Love. Pleasure. Starlight. Sex. Taste. Flesh. Breath. Whispering. Pain. Goddess. Darkness. Hunger. Orgasm. Life. Death. Stones. Earth. Vaginas. Questions. Skin. Friendship. Fire. Warmth. Penises. Wine. Eyes. Awake. Ecstasy.

(The voices cease suddenly, as the GODDESS enters. SHE is naked or partially naked. Her hands are covered in blood, and blood drips from her mouth. She may even be in the process of eating a morsel of bloody flesh.)

GODDESS
I am. I am. I am the Great Mother. I am the Star Goddess, in the dust of whose feet are the hosts of heaven, and whose body encircles the universe. I am the Goddess of Earth, and Air, and Water, and Fire. From me all things proceed, and unto me all things return. I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire. Do you believe in me?

ASTRONOMER
Yes.

GODDESS
Do you believe in me, and in all that you have seen tonight?

ASTRONOMER
Yes. I believe in everything. Everything that has ever been dreamed or imagined is true.

(enter MAENAD 3)

MAENAD 3
Though, for some reason we must always forget this. For some reason our philosophy must not even dream of all things in heaven and earth.

(enter MAENAD 1)

MAENAD 1
So we put aside our philosophy and dream anyway, calling it art or folly, afraid to admit that here is where we see most clearly, that here is where we come closest to seeing the world as it really is.

ASTRONOMER
Do I believe in all that we have seen tonight? In Angels and Monsters and suicide and Goddesses? Yes.

(enter ANGEL)

ANGEL
We have all been angels.

(enter MONSTER puppeteers, without their puppets.)

MONSTER
We have all been monsters.

(enter PHILOSOPHER)

PHILOSOPHER
(Speaking in his/her own voice, rather than through the voice-synthesizer.)
We have all been suicides.

(enter SOPHIA)

SOPHIA
We have all been Goddesses.

(enter MAENAD 2)

MAENAD 2
How could we know ourselves to be human unless we had known ourselves to be something other than human?

(enter MAENAD 4, if there is one)

MAENAD 4 (or 1)
How could we experience Time unless we also experienced Eternity?

GODDESS
Behold! I am the Goddess, and all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. I am Desire. I am Agony and Ecstasy. I am one of your other eyes. I am your left hand. I am you. Don’t you recognize me?

END OF PLAY

Ecstasy Research Theatre

(Originally submitted as an Interschool Project Proposal at California Institute of the Arts,
Fall of 1997.)

The twentieth century, in the footsteps of the nineteenth, has difficulty with the notion of art as ecstasy. Yet that is the traditional notion and I believe it is the right one. It is quite easy to live at a low level of sensibility; it is the way of the world. There is no need to ask art to show us how to be less than we are. Art shows us how to be more than we are.

—Jeanette Winterson

The best of the romantic theatre, the civilized pleasures of the opera and the ballet were in any event gross reductions of an art sacred in its origins. Over the centuries the Orphic Rites turned to the Gala Performance—slowly and imperceptibly the wine was adulterated drop by drop.

—Peter Brook

Abstract
I find it difficult to express exactly what Ecstasy Research Theatre is about. Below you will find detailed descriptions of what we plan to do, but a description of a performance is not a performance, and the description seems somehow to miss the point. What is the point? That is difficult, because Ecstasy Research Theatre, at bottom, is not about ideas, but about experience. Perhaps I should begin by describing an experience that happened to me many years ago, one which planted the seeds for this project.
I went to see a production of Oedipus with some friends. Afterwards, we went to a party. The host of the party had laid out finger paints and butcher paper. We painted, but not on the paper. We painted on each other. We stripped to the waist, men and women both, and made shapes and signs on each other’s bodies. We danced. We shared wine as sacrament from each other’s mouths. Looking back, it seems to me that, without our knowing it, the play had stirred up something ancient and powerful within us. We went to a party, but the party became, for us, not a party, but a rite, a sacrament. It was probably the most holy experience I have ever had. I don’t think it could have happened without having seen Oedipus. Somehow, the play had communicated something magical, something that went deeper than the craft of the play, something that went back to the sacred origins of Greek theatre in the festivals of Dionysus, and perhaps further back than that, to a time when theatre was not separate from magic and holiness, a time when humanity had not yet imposed a distinction between the power of its gods and the power of art. This is, for me, the life blood of theatre. This is why, over 2000 years later, we are still drawn to Greek theatre. We still crave that Dionysian power that first inspired human beings to view the universe with awe.
Ecstasy Research Theatre is about taking theatre back to its roots in magic, ritual, and sacrament. We will perform out in the desert, as far from “civilization” as is practical. By taking people out of a familiar theatre setting we hope to communicate with something deeper inside of them, that quirk in the ancient mind that first made art on cave walls, that first painted the human body, that first dreamed. Ecstasy Research Theatre is about finding the giants on whose shoulders our contemporary imagination stands.

Overview
The audience will arrive by car or van in the late afternoon. Once they have arrived, we will lead the audience on foot farther into the desert, maybe as much as half a mile. This journey will be a ritual, a crossing over into a sacred realm. Masked guardians will stand watch over the entrance to the performance space. The audience will be made to feel that they are entering a holy of holies.
Once the audience is seated, and has had time to absorb the feel of the location, that particular power that the desert has, the performance will begin.
A solitary flute sounds in the distance. Dancers emerge slowly, one by one, from the yucca and creosote bushes. The unseen flute player comes closer, until she emerges from around a bend in the arroyo. As the musician comes into view, she is joined by percussion, and then by other instruments. The musicians emerge from all around, and converge on a spot near the audience, while the dancers’ movements escalate. The dance will coincide with sunset, ending as twilight begins to fall.
After this opening dance, we will light a fire and torches, while the musicians play a musical interlude. As sunset turns to twilight, we will begin the theatrical performance. The script for this performance follows. But even this play is only a doorway to what, I hope, will come after.
The performance will end with a ritual feast, drumming, dancing about the fire. Those who wish can spend the night with us out in the desert: dancing, watching the stars, telling stories. All great performances should end with a party. But what I most hope for those who come to this event is that they might find what I found all those years ago, at that party after seeing Oedipus. I am hoping that some, at least, will find through this performance something magical and holy, a way down to the deep sources of life, to the origins of art, and ritual, and dreams.

Process
Ecstasy Research Theatre is based largely on a small theatre group that I worked with several years ago, called Psyche & Eros Productions. In justification of the process below, I can only say that I have seen this process used before, and it works. Psyche & Eros Productions was able, using casts of mostly amateurs, to create magic.

Play is an essential part of the creative process. Through games, improv exercises, movement explorations, we as performers build the connections with each other that can take a performance beyond mere craft, to a place where wonder is possible. For the first two weeks, we won’t even look at a script; and we will continue our explorations throughout the process. Right up to the performance, even as we polish and fine-tune, we will continue to go back to the source of our art, in play.

Ecstasy Research Theatre is non-hierarchical. All decisions are made through consensus. The performers cast themselves, after having explored the script from different angles and through different characters. This can be time-consuming, but it is necessary, and it works. What we are trying to create cannot be assembled mechanically, from the outside. It must grow, organically, from within, and this can only happen if everyone is given a voice in the creative process.