THE OMNISEX UNISEXUAL P U R I T Y T E S T
THE OMNISEX UNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
Version 6.1 (1000)
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands; let there be love. Murphy's Law on sex;
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes waste.
Virginity can be cured.
This document was not sponsored by the Department
of Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air
Force Avionics Laboratory. The views and conclusions contained in this document
should not be interpreted as representing the official policies, either expressed
or implied, of the Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the U.S. Government.
Neither should it be inferred that the authors/contributors have actually
performed any of the actions herein.
Disclaimer of Liability
The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgment at all times; that partner's
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and the dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users and
customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers(pimps/spouses)
and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in use and may be
hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social
diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time, even to those copulating in
control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent risks are part of the sport and
may exist within your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the
facilities of your partner, the user of this tests agrees to copulate in control
and within the limits of his/her ability, and further acknowledges and accepts
these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to
person or damage to property which might result from use of the partner's
As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partners, the customer understands and further agrees that: (1) in the event of a
transfer or use by another or anything else in the management's opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
without refund; (2) the partner is the property of the harem and, upon request,
he/she must be presented to any authorized representative of the pimp/spouse; (3)
sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when you are in any
bedroom and when approaching the bed to copulate. Your sexual partner is not
transferable; see the Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582.
Purity Test Genesis/History
- Version 1 (100)
- Created at MIT's Baker House. Two parallel versions:
one for male, and one for female. Not much is known about this version. It was
sported to CMU by ps in 1982.
- Version 2 (247) Spring 1983-
- CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al. Expanded
to 247 questions. This marked the beginning of the unisex versions. The story
goes that they intended it to be 250 questions, but got tired that night and
said, "We'll think of three more tomorrow," and tomorrow never got there.
- Version 3.3c.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984
- First formal release general of this
test, version 3.xx. All former versions were short-lived and tended to be
bug-ridden. Does not discriminate against gays or bi's. Good correspondence of
scores (especially in the higher school ranges) between this version and version
2. Added Genesis/History section.
- Version 3.4 (400) on 29-jan-1985
- Internal version; never released. Source
code accidentally destroyed, much to the consternation of one of the authors.
Cleaned up many bugs. Added sections: Disclaimer of Liability, Instructions for
Use, Scoring, and Warranty Information.
- Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985
- Rebuilt from the 3.3c.1 source and the
3.4 (only surviving copy) Xerox X9700 laser printer hardcopy. Cleaned up some
bugs in 3.4; wiped out a duplicate question. Added in verbose history section.
- Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985:
- CMU/da, fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al.
Found that we had 431 questions instead of 400.
- Version 3.5B (400) on 18-mar-1986:
- Yale (Pierson College)/as Intermediate
release, with footnotes integrated into main body of text and some grammatical
errors cleaned up. Begun in Fall, 1985; finished in April for the benefit of a
friend at MIT (where it all began), who hadn't seen any versions except the
antique Version 1.
- Version 3.5C (400) on 17-Jan-1988:
- Yale (Pierson College)/mmd
(CLARINAET@YALEVM) Grammatical errors corrected. Introduction and history added.
- Version 4.0 (500) on 23-Apr-1988:
- Yale (Stillman College)/dfc, ad, dcg,
mlm, and Dartmouth (Alpha Theta)/alb. Original 400-question version expanded to
500 questions. Transferred to LSC by jlf and smc. Donated to jlp from pct.
- Version 5.0 (576) date uncertain:
- orst.edu/ pdh. A late night
remembrance of an antiquated purity test.
- Version 5.1 (1000) on 14-May-1990:
- orst.edu/ pdh. The 576 expanded with
1000 questions. Some impossible-to-do questions. (the undead?) Made without any
of the additions of any previous Purity Tests. First true omnisex version same
for girls and guys.
- Version 5.2 (1000) on 24-Aug-1992:
- LSMSA (Louisiana School for Math,
Science, and the Arts)/"Gifties": Griffin, Phoenix, and Sickling. A rebuilding
the PT1000 using the 1000 format and the PT500 questions.
- Version 6.0a (1000) on 06-Apr-1998:
- CalArts (California Institute of the
- Version 6.1b (1000) on 06-Apr-1998:
- CalArts (California Institute of the
Arts): jl. Split different sections into frames, allowing faster loading, and
separate statistics for each section. Updated instructions for electronic use.
Instructions for Use:
This is a very long test consisting of 1000 questions. It starts out tame and
gets progressively worse (or better, depending on your viewpoint). There are
many ways of going about taking this test. You can, of course, as your right,
guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social and sequester yourself in your
room and take this test all by yourself; however, we feel that the funnest way to
utilize is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is a computer with a
not-too-out-dated version of Netscape or Internet Explorer, and a bunch of
friends. The geek^H^H^H^H person who first suggested having everyone
take the test in the first place is the test administrator -- but since he/she
has no special responsibilities, this title really doesn't mean anything.
When the testee first sits down at the computer he/she will be assumed to be 100%
pure (innocent until proven interesting). As he/she goes through each section,
he/she should click on the checkbox next to each item that he/she has
done. The purity scores in the left panel will update automatically. The
sections can be answered in any order, but we recommend starting with Section 1: The Virgin Stuff, then going on to Section 2: Auto-erotica and
Mono-sexualism, and so on. You may return to a previous section
at any time, though doing so may erase the scores from THAT SECTION, in
which case you'll have to do that section over again. Other sections won't be
All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you subsequent
to your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that may have happened before
that time is considered not standing and void.
Also, for the section of the test which involves animals, humans (although
they really are animals) do not count.
The term mutual masturbation refers
to someone masturbating you AND/OR you masturbating
someone else, not exclusively both at the same time.
Necking is the kissing or stroking of a person's head or neck. Petting is
that plus the caressing or fondling of other portions of anatomy; through or
We would also like to define having sex in the homosexual case; homosexual
sex has occurred when both partners are of the same sex and one partner has an
orgasm while there is some contact between the genitals of both partners.
We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor
failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting a
high score... even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life.
---ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT---
Pretty obvious, isn't it?
We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor
does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat better
in bed or in the haystack. The makers of this test are not responsible for any
liabilities or damages resulting from this test, including but not limited to,
paternity suits. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. Do not open back panel; no user
serviceable parts inside. Propagate (this test) at will, even without the
written permission of the publisher; just don't edit or change it. In
reproducing this test, the authors of this test may exercise droit de seigneur
over you, your immediate family, or fiance(e). You may or may not have
additional rights which may vary from state to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstasy).
Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and
frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not included. Some
assembly may be required. Does not come with any other figures.
Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
The above is a public service announcement of this institution.