INJURY

SETTING: A doctor’s office. A projection reads “Injury”. A large desk and a chair split center, facing each other (desk on stage left, chair stage right). There is also a chair behind the desk.

AT RISE: DOCTOR is sitting behind the desk. HE/SHE is a very serious, old-fashioned sort of doctor. Opposite HIM/HER sits a PATIENT with a bandaged head.


DOCTOR
So, what can I do for you this morning?

PATIENT
I fell on my head in rehearsal the other day, and now it doesn’t work.

DOCTOR
Your head?

PATIENT
Right. It doesn’t work anymore.

DOCTOR
I see.
(DOCTOR takes notes, examines PATIENT’s head, hits it with a rubber mallet, etc.)
Well, I’m afraid I have very bad news for you. I think it will be necessary to change your mind.

PATIENT
Change it how?

DOCTOR
I recommend that we start by hitting it with a brick.
(DOCTOR takes out a prescription pad.)
I’ll prescribe a small brick at first. If your head proves unresponsive, we may move up to cinder blocks, but let’s start with this.

(DOCTOR hands PATIENT the prescription. PATIENT goes to a drugstore counter which appears stage right, where a PHARMACIST gives PATIENT an ordinary-looking brick, labelled as if it were a prescription bottle. PATIENT dances with brick, occasionally hitting himself/herself over the head with it.)

END OF “INJURY”